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Update 14 by mariguana

28th Granite, 1063, Early Spring:

I fear that I have made a terrible mistake. I told her that her demands were reasonable, and she insulted our kind twice more, and then left. What would our ancestors have done? They'd have killed the bitch, that's what. Nobody as offensive, rude, and presumptuous as the elves should be allowed to live.

While the diplomat escaped my wrath, the Elven merchants are still here. And so are the trees that these fools are so concerned about.

There is a storm coming, Lema Ceraliceyi.

Now that the merchants are disposed of, I will ensure that not one tree or shrub grows outside of Boatmurdered.

25th Slate, 1063, Mid-Spring

In the dwarven tongue, there is no word for forgiveness.

1st Felsite, 1063, Late Spring:

Diary, I regret to write that our deforesters are having... difficulties. Some of the men are allergic to the sun, and can only walk so far before they become sickly and crawl back toward the fort, leaving trails of vomit in their wake. Other dwarves were ambushed by elephants in the southern parts of the forest where the magma could not reach. It goes without saying that the casualties were high. Two dwarves died, and others were wounded and had to be dragged back to camp.

I have ordered the men to leave Elephant Grove alone, at least for the time being.

6th Felsite, 1063, Late Spring:
There is a dwarf among us who calls himself "Emperor" Sankis. The impudence of it! By my official decree, he has been renamed Sankis the Beardless. Wait until the men hear about this! Hah!

Guerilla Medic posted:

Oh god, you slaughtered the merchants?
And are going to leave me to deal with the invasion?
I love the smell of burning elf in the morning... Though i might drown them for a change.
IF i can convince my dwarves not to get crazy and make themselves thongs out of each other.



mariguana posted:

Oh dear god. I'll post an update later tonight. I intended to do one earlier, but due to incredible stupidity on my part, I'm scrambling to save my grade in my molecular genetics course.

On my exam, there was an essay question on the back of the final page that I didn't see; I just assumed the back of the exam was blank and handed it in. I've been trying to convince my professor to give me a chance to make up part of it, but he isn't budging. I'm hosed.

Once I tire myself of trying to save my scholarship, I'll get right back on the update train.


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